Mesa State College • The voice of studen
ts since 1931
SPECIAL EDITION
•
2006
-
2007
Criterion S
taff
Meet the press
Criterion Staff Members of Fall 2006: (back row) Max Ryan, Danielle Stomberg, Kevin Vicker
,
Nate t
'
ichols
,
Keith Kitchen, Matt Soper, Amanda Friar; (front row
)
Josh Kleine Deters, Taylor Stonehouse
,
Holly Cook
,
Justin
Bishop, Pai~e Hatten, Ulysses Simmons, Taysha Byrd, Melanie Moore
Taylor Stonehouse
EditorMajor: Mass communications Favorite color: Blue
Favorite part about working for the Criterion: I get to see the before and after versions of the newspaper and work with I great staff.
Least favorite part The late nights.
Where do you see yourself in 10 years? Enjoying my career and loving my life.
Which Seinfeld character do you most relate to? Elaine-that girl can dance!
Josh Kleine Deters
Features EditorMajor: Technically, mass communications but I really have no idea
Favorlte Color: Yellow
Favorite p~rt about working with the Criterion: I appreciate the fact that I have the opportunity to write on a variety of topics and work with some great people.
Least favorite part: The pay and lack of motivation in a good bit of the staff. Lethargy is difficult to work with.
Where do you see yourself in 1 O years? Hopefully with my doctorate, married and working on a novel of some sort. Maybe some kids.
What Disney character would you be and why?: I would be Mickey Mouse's role from "Fantasia." I could create anything I wanted w'rtl1 a mere fJex1ns of my'WilL Plus, those robes are sick - blue
lsmy color.
Holly Cook
News EditorMajor. Mass communications Favorite color: Green
Favorite Pl!rt about working for the Criterion: Seeing tile finished product on the newstand and knowing bow much work. went Into il
Least tavo te part: The panic that sets in on production day. Where do you see yourself in 10 years? Editing and writing for a large paper..probabty still panicking on production day.
If you coul go on a date with anyone in tlMI world, who I
would you choose? Well, it wouldn't be Kevin Federline.
Justin Bishop
Graptt!C" Dutgne,Ma]or: Ma ting Fnorlte color: Blue
Favorite part about working with the Criterion: The craziness, freak-outs, and mass hysteria while trying to layout the paper.
e part: We all have a case of the Mondays ...
Where do you
see
yourself in~o
years? Hopefully working as a marketing director for a large company, if not I miaht still be working for the Criterion.If you had one super power, whit would It be and what would you use It for? Road Runner, so I could layout the paper in ,002 seconds.
Nate Nichols
Opinions EditorMajor: Political science Favorite color: Blue
favorite part about working for the Criterion: Doling my comic strip.
Least favorite part: Staff members who take no p,rtde in their work.
Where do you see yourself in 1
o
years? In an offlcce chair,probably.
Which one: skiing or snowboarding? Snowboardling - skiing is gay.
Ulysses Simmons
Sports EditorMajor; Mass Communications F1vorite Color: Green (like money)
Favorite part about working for the Criterion: It's a lot of fun. I get to work with a lot of people.
Least favori1e part: lakes a lot of time, work, eneir9y and effort.
Where do you see yourself in 1 O years? With a dC11ctor's degree, making some serious money.
H you had one s~per power, what would It be, and! what would you use it for? To make and sign my own payche«:k.
Max Ryan
Features Columnist Major: Mass communications Favorite color: sea greenFavorite part about working with the Criterion: The camara1derie. Least favorite part: Deadlines.
Where do you see yourself in 10 years? Dead in the gutter.
If you had one super power, what would it be and what wo11ld you use it for? I'd have Wolverine's super powers to rip the hea1ds off my enemies. .
lbl!t1a~iur
6,
2006
Changing
times
Melariie 'Mome News Reporter( n the year 19 2 5 the Grand Junction
Junior College wa,; located at 5th Street and Rood Avenue in the deteriorating Lowell . School between the county courthouse and the Y:VICA.
"For years it was a battle for permission to establish a college, for years more, a battle to keep it going," Richard E. Tope. one of the first professors and trustee mernhers of the college said in a public address.
On the under-developed corner of 12th Street and North Avenue, several years after the founding of the college when the num-ber of students outgrew the size of the facili-ties, a new building was created. Dedicated
M'lf:il S
f
tJ e [allege •
lllre
voice
ofs
1cuten·1s
since 193
,
1
~rJnmre 7ti
IIS51R:
13
to Clifford Houston and his father. Elmer G. "P,IPs .. Houston in 1980, this buildin_g housed the lihr.ary. classrooms and gym.
Photos courtesy of Wallace Dobbins
Left, above: -Saunders Fieldhouse in 1975
ckrnrdirw; to Mesa Colle_ge - The First 50 Years, "bundreds of people, students. faculty
Left:
Campbell CollegeCenter
Above:
Re.sident halllounge
areaand scores of friends who had fought through the years to maintain the college witnessed the ground breakin_g" of the building.
Mary Rait Hall. was built where the library
now stands. Upon completion, the building served as a girl's dorm, and was later remodeled for offices and
Danielle Stomberg/Criterion
ASG
and
theP.R.I.D.E. club
planted 4,000 red flagson Dec.
1 for\Vorld AIDS
day.
Each flag represented 10,000 people that areliv-ing worldwide with
HIV or
AIDS.
classrooms.
fa.pansion took uff in the 1960s and '70s, and the campus tri-pled in si7e during Dr. William Medesv's administration from
1963-1970. The College Center,
Tolman Hall, the science build-ing and Lowell Heiny Hall, which served as the library and adminis-tration buildin_g. were all built in the 1960s.
Rait and Pinon halts were add-ed in the 1970s, as was Madd-edesy I Irtll and the former Walker Building. which is now a con-nection to the Moss Performing Arts Center. The \Valnut Ridge Apartments were added in 1977.
In. the late '70s the college cen-ter was remodeled and expanded to include Liff Auditorium, meet-ing rooms, a cafeteria, a snack bar, the bookstore and offices for Associated .Student Government, Ki\lSA and the Criterion. Houston Hall was also remodeled, remov-ing the gym and in its place adding lecture halls to accommodate more students. Air conditioning, an ele-vator, and two additional staircases
H1
we.re added.
In 198.6, Mary
Raft
Hall wao; demolished and the li-braf) was huilt on its foundation. Heiny Hall was then renovated after the relocation of the lihrary for faculty and administrative offices.For 10 years, construction stagnated. In 1996 the ·
recreation center was opened, later followed by the addition of Wubben Hall to the sciences buildin_g. In 1997, Monument hall, the first residence hall in nearly
30 years, was constructed.
ln 2000, the /\'lave.rick sculpture was placed outside
the College Center after it was sculpted by 13 Mesa :State students.
The Fine Arts Building was finished in 2001, and the additions tu the Muss Performing Arts center wen: completed around this time as we.II.
This year, the new hall was completed, and accord-ing to Mesa State President Tim Foster, construction will begin on the soccer stadium at the end of the se-me:ster. The ground-breaking for the new business classroom facility will take place at the end of spring semester.
These plans are only the start of what is to come. According to Fuster, once the busines:s building is com-.
plete, Houston Hall \\ill undergo another remodel. Once Saunders Fieldhouse is remodeled and expand-ed, it is planned to demolish Medesy in order to expand the College Center. The \Nalnut Rid_ge and Applewoud apartments are also slated for demolition in order to ex-pand Saunders.
•
2
Criterion Calendar
December 6-13
Thursday, Dec. 7
SCHRALPTOWN
A skiing and snowboarding fflm
8 p.m.,
liiff
Auditorium
Friday,
Dec.
8
CASH FOR BOOKS
8:30
a.m. -
4
p.m.,
College Center
LOOKAT
ME!
Dance concert
7:30 p.m., Moss Performing Arts Center
Saturday,
Dec.
9
LOOKAT ME!
Dance concert
2 p.m.
&7:30 p.m., Moss Performing Arts Center
DEVILS CANYON VOLUNTEER
.
TAMARISK REMOVAL PROJECT
8:30 a.m. - 2 p.m., Mcinnis Canyon Conservation Area
2nd
ANNUAL
CEDAREDGE
CHALLENGE
Sled Dog Races
9 a.m. - 1 p.m., lands End Rd. on top of Grand 'Mesa
I
Criterio
-
n Blotter
I
I
DUJID
-
Lindsie
Rq-yp, 21, of Grand
IJunvtion, was arrestecl aftt~T an
investi-gation showl
.
'd she
WdSdrh:ing under th
e
rnfluence of tlrngs.
UNDEAAGE
POSSESSION OF
ETHYL
ALCOHOL
-
1'lichae1 Jones, 18,
was
ar-rested and released on a summons at
·
115
9 N
h:sa r\
v
e. aft
e
r
h
e
was cont
ac
ted
and
found to b
e
intoxicated.
I
• • .. ' • ~ • p
Criterion News • DECEMBER 6, 2006
This week in
•••
State
DENVER- A new recycling program is
ex-pected to cost the city $1.6 million next
year. Critics say recycnng is more
ex-pensive than
simply
throw-ing trash away,
mostly
be-cause of costs
to transport
the materials
to
manufac-turers. They say recycling uses taxpayer
money to subsidize private companies
with materials that aren't necessarily
cheaper than virgin goods. Proponents
counter by saying recycling saves room
in landfills,
pro-•
tects natural
re-sources and is a
simple way
peo-ple can do good
forthe Earth.
The city expects
$760,000 in
re-turn revenue from Waste Management,
which pays for the recyclables it sells to
companies around the country.
World
Nation
ST. LOUIS (AP) -- Frigid temperatures contributed to
four deaths Sunday, pushing the toll from a
devastat-ing ice and snow storm to 19 as hundreds of
thou-sands waited another day for their electricity to be
restored. By early afternoon Sunday, the St. Louis
temperature had reached
only about 22 tlegrees,
the National Weather
Service said. Two men,
ages 37 and 35, died
after they tried to burn
coal in a cooking wok to
stay warm. Fire officials
found deadly levels of
carbon monoxide in their home. A 56-year-old man
may have suffered hypothermia, and an 81-year-old
man was found dead at the bottom of his home's
stairs. Thursday's storr11 spread ice and deep snow
from Texas to Michigan and then blew through the
Northeast late Friday and early Saturday. T
tnousands
of travelers were stranded by canceled flights,
high-ways clogged by abandoned vehicles and stalled
trains. By Sunday afternoon, about 350,000
cus-tomer of St. Louis-based Ameren Corp. had no
elec-tricity in a roughly 300-mife swath from Jackson,
Mo., northeast to Pontiac, Ill., paralleling the track
of the storm. Spokeswoman Susan Gallagher
said about 200,000 were in Missouri and about
150,000 in central and southern l!linois.
LONDON - On Nov. 1, hundreds ofRussians were in town to atch the
Arsenal soccer club play at team from Moscow. Elsewhere in he
capi-tal, however, someone had struck with lethal accuracy. That~ ening in
Muswell Hill, a little north of Arsenal's stadium, Alexander Litvinenko, a
former Russian spy and enemy of Russian President Vladimir Putin's
re-gime, became itl and began vomiting.Within days he was hospitalized.
By Nov. 23, he was dead, hi
s internal organs destroyed by a rare radio
-active isotope called polonium-210. A senior Scotland Yard smurce said
that investigators are closing in on a suspect.
Wednesda,
llhorsditj'
Fri11ay
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High 38°
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High 40°
Hig 36°
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DECEMBER 6, 2006 • Criterion News
3
News
Holly Cook, editor
.
hcooi{iliJmesastate.edu
That's news to us ...
The Criterion's top stories aver ~he years
ltJvenlher $ 1932i Ftanldm
'DI Jar10 "R.009 velCis el.ected "Jte:i dento~r b e Urirted
.St.ites
1936: Spanish Civil War begins
December 5, 1933: 21st Amendment to the Constitution ends Prohibition.
\
1930
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k,+..,.,.JIVf"~~
Wubben Unveils Plans Of
·Mesa's Proposed Campus
1940: Nazi, Germany invades NorwayfDenmark.
nd Pol.and
1940
1950
1960
1972: Women's I equaltty up for vnt\: ~912: ·Rl,g1'1atu11s redu~ parltrng 1u111estionl
'h973: Th 11eI'
studen.ts u.nc.er tr4>IC111"11n ,es1ct~1r.e hall v.indahzation(RITE
-
RION
.!
Or MESA.~M ---
COLU:G~I Feb. 15, 19&'1:firstMedia rBoard at Mesa State isestablislted Feb. 1986: Tomlinson "41,,nirritet. .
Ft~s
cteot o't rtie-sa!':iut-e Se-pt. 11, 2001: Two airplanes crash intQ the- 1 World Trade Center 1 ,H99· Maoness i on1' lb .!lre It continues: several s,tJ:JO'lti ar e lit ·bJ"'J'.irs on a,J'~sNalks April 10,'2003. Mes-d
State student takes his own lite
:1 rm oster
beoomes Mesa State l>residertl vl ch 2, 2 (I) 4 CwiMmn Ed br M,r~'l:11,frjnm i'Of)1aw.1t.i\, 4\Jain~l ir-Jlte:ge
· 'B~ard oflf ustees
4
Criterion News • DECEMBER 6, 2006Open for questions
ASG revisits vetoed bill
Holly CookNews Editor
After seven weeks discussing club funds, Mesa State College's Fee Allocation Committee members submitted their recommended budget of half a million dollars to the Associated Student Government for
ap-proval. •
The bill passed in under one minute but ASG President Shannon Robinson vetoed the decision due to lack of preparation and discussion hy the senators.
"The problem is some of (the senators) don't un-derstand the importam:e of being an informed voter,'' Robinson said. "They should be able to ex-plain to members of these clubs why they made the choices they did."
Fee Allocation Committee Chair Zach Bloese pre-sented the senators with a packet of information ex-plaining the increases and decreases of money for specific clubs prior to the meeting.
"We supplied the senate with information so they could understand the budget," Bloese said.
Senator Merritt Sammons questioned the hasty de-cision once the senate had moved on to other busi-ness.
"The budget was easy to read if you were a
busi-ness major," Sammons said. "I
felt
like more questions needed to be asked before we voted."Bloese said he understood why the senators were quick to vote but expected more conversation over some of the larger numbers allocated to specific clubs.
"The senators should be asking about the large sums that are going toward clubs like the Outdoor Program and Cultural Diversity Board," Bloese said. Bloese said that one senator has asked him for more information since the ASG meeting Nov. 30.
Since the bill was vetoed it will return to the sen-ate on Thurs. to be voted on again. Sammons said she hopes the senators will debate the bill in order to cast an educated vote.
Robinson said she is vetoing the bill so the senators will -educate themselves before making another deci-sion.
"The recommnedations FAC made (in their bud-get) were fine but when it comes to the budget, ASG acts as the checks and balances. We need to be ac-countable."
•
bcoolc@mesastate.eduww
·
A ground
breaking
event
Fountain construction begins over break
Krystle McAllister News Reporter
Christmas break is bringing not only time off from school, but a new addition to Mesa State College's campus aesthetics.
A water fountain is in the
nine-person committee included Programs Director Cindy Lueb, Robinson, Peggy Foster, Lisa Franke, Anne Meyer, Catherine Burkey and Allison Sanno.
Robinson's major concern was to ensure that whatever the design, the water feature is able to blend and add to the campus no matter the season.
In the winter when the foun-making to be constructed in
front of the college center. The fountain will consist of two pillars, one seventeen feet tall and one 15 feet tall, separated on the ground by "
a water drain. Several boul-ders will he around the drain
Christmas break is
bringing not only time
off, but a new addition to
Mesa State's campus.
tain project is completed, the wa-ter to the fountain will not be ac-·
tive, but the pillars and boulders should look great even in the dead of winter, Robinson said.
A new concern to the campus is the safety of students during \\inter with issues of combining ice-covered sidewalks, boulders and pillars, according to
Associated Student Government President Shannon
Robinson.
The two pillars will be real rock in the shape of the pillars, but on a smaller !jcale. It will then have
steel reinforcements, and the finishing layer will be made from GFRC, a rock imitation layer. The sur-rounding boulders will be made of real rock.
The fountain was designed by two art students,
Ryan Watkins and Melanie Doerpholz. Both
attend-ed and graduatattend-ed from Mesa State and are now
al-lowing the school to display their art design,
accord-ing to Andy Anderson, LTC Operations.
Last year, Tim Foster created a committee to
de-cide upon a water feature to add to the campus. The
and students hurrying to navigate around the feature to their destination.
Several students have already fallen due to ice outside the College Center, and questions about
mLx-ing large boulders into that are becoming frequent.
"I'll be interested to see how Facilities will deal with the winter conditions," Robinson said. "But they
can handle it."
The committee hopes to break ground for the fountain over Christmas break, Anderson said.
•
laacallls@olesastafe.edfl
Guest column
Thank God for the typos
It's been exactly 10 years since I had the pleasure to experience one of the most enjeyable times of my life. As Editor-in-Chief of the Mesa State College Criterion from 1996-9 7, I was solely responsihle for publishing what was to be the best volume of Mesa State's student-runnews-paper. I was prepared to · lead a staff of eager Mass Communication students into a new era of high-qual-ity journalism. We rolled up our sleeves, sharpened our pencils, and embarked on covering the news and oc-currences at Mesa State. We were to be perfect in ev-ery way.
Fortunately we were not perfect in every way. In fact we were terrible in com-parison to the near perfect periodicals published across
Jeff Kirtland Guest Columnist
our nation daily; hence the reason for my pride and celebration for the 75th anniversary of the Crite.
Every student lud,1' enough to be a part of the Criterion also longs to be the best, and there really is no reason to judge one year from the next.
Sure the level of writing varies year to year, and the hard-hitting journalism has its ups and downs, but the common factor which has remained constant for over 75 years is the learning opportunity provided to Mesa State students. This is what sets the Crite apart from the near perfect periodicals; we are expected to screw up and learn from it.
This valuable learning opportunity wouldn't be around if not for the continued commitment by the Mesa State College administration and faculty ad-visors who have recognized this value over time. Certainly the administration has not always agreed with the editorial view (nor should they) and the fac-ulty advisors have likely torn out their hair over the lack of quality and judgment. But it is all in the spirit of supporting a practical and safe place for students to learn from their mistakes.
\Vhile all this can be said about most college news-papers in the country, I like to think the Criterion and Mesa State is different. For me, the Criterion - in addition to teaching me about practical journalism - provided an opportunity to learn about leadership, politics, and most importantly how to develop rela-tionships. I truly don't believe I would have been pro-vided the same opportunities attending a larger school in the state.
Ten years later, I read through the 28 issues
pub-lished during my reign as Editor-in-Chief and
gri-. mace at each typo, mistake or lack of judgment. And
I remember the hard work, joy, close friendships and carefree attitude we all had during the best learning
opportunity of our lives.
•
Jeff Kirtland is currently the Communication Seroices Coordinator for School District 51 .
ldrtland@mesa.k12.co.,s
---DECEMBER 6, 2006 • Criterion Opinions
..
5
•
•
0
1n1ons
Kate Nichols,
elihr
jlnich0:@!roes<£tate edu
Semesters: one down, seven to
go
Yesterday evening I had to I Un out to my car to get some papers. Walking through the srnJ\\'., I started to get cold so I began to jog a bit. The jog turned into a sprint, and as
I was trying to warm my hands while running, I
saw it.
-It was horrible; it was hJood curdling; it was a huge sheet of ice. I went straight onto it, slipped and pulled a full 360° Charlie Brown through the air, landing on my
hack and knocking the wind out of me. ·
just built up so much and looked nothing like Animal House.)
During my short time here, I have already Jeamed many fhings. I
learned how to do laundry without using soap (which has saved me tons of money), how to use the patent· ed "power nap'' method of napping developed by yours truly, and how to live
off
a steady diet of pizza. Cherry Coke and brownies.As I lay there in ag· ony, not knowing if I was dead, alive t>T just
a wimp, my life flashed
fBJtian "Erkkson
Fresh Mec1t1
I have also learned to appreciate other people and their diverse ways of living and attitudes to-ward life. (Such as the guy who is always leaving his laundry in the wash· er for days on end or the ·
hefore my eyes and,
un-fortunately, it was really pathetic. My
life
is apparently set to the tune of "Eye of the Tiger'' and resembles more of a sports training montage in a B-dass movie than anything else.After I got through my
pathet-ic life, my eyes cracked open,and I gazed at the stars while I cradled myself in the fetal position upon the cold asphalt.
I started to think about how I have already heen through one se-mester of college and what the fu. ture might hold for me. J thought ahout the other colleges I visited and wondered if I was destined to he here at Mesa, on the ground, taking stock of my bruises and bro-ken bones.
I remembered how frightened I was the i.ummer before my fresh· man year of high school. At the
time, I thought for sure I would end up \\rith swirlies galore and wedgies "up" the wazoo - but things didn't
turn out so bad after all. I did make the mistake my freshman year of not meeting a lot of friends or get-ting out and having fun because, most of the time, 1 was nervous about getting shoved inside a locker.
This go-round at my new fresh-man year, 1 told myself that I was
going !l.J get out there, meet people, and be the guy dealing out wedgies. I remember mri\ing here early for FYI and thinking, "Is this it? Wow, college is kind of boring." (Not that I really think tihat anymore; it was
staff
~ions Eitito,ldlttr 'N'.ite N.iobol!.
Ta }illT5Tunehru~
.
Feitures IEditerllile.ws E.lfltol ~o~ "1Ue1 ne De:tBis
Holt1 Coo't .Sports Editllr Ulysses S11m1ons
per.son who thought that it would be funnv to steal mv brovvnie from Bookcliff Cafe whe~ I went to get some ketchup. Jerk.)
Overall, my time here at Mesa has been well spent and well en-joyed. I look forward to what next semester and beyond brings. Just think, one semester down and only senm more to go. Now if I could only get up of this asphalt. collect my broken ego and find my car. ·
Then things would be just peachy.
•
be;1ck~mesastate,edu,Copy Editor 'l>eslgnm
:fleather li)uf\phey J~sfm tBishop
ffhato (Ellltlr Josh Graham
Dali Lelle Stombe.rg
Design illilor Megan Stewart Cl.-ssifiecls tlollectlll'
Tay.,Jra fPp.r.1 iBin fi'JJjJing
Afte~
an,
it's
called the 'Christmas' season
For generations, there have been two varieties of Christmas: Sm1ta Claus
Christmas and Jesus C11rist Christmas. Both are tra<litionally ohserved by the vast majority of Americans, and until recently, have peace.fully coexisted in
oar culture.
Culminating in the late 1990s, attempts to coddle the hypersensitivities of a non-Christian minority in the name of political correctness led to a secularization of Christmas. For instance, the long-standard
"Merry Christmas'' was almost entirely replaced by "Season's Greetings" within the pub·
as ours, there will never be an end of p•eo
-ple who claim to he offended by sometlhing OI someone. As 20th Century Americam philosopher Eric Hoffer noted, "A dissent-ing minority feels free only when it cam
impose its '-\lll on the majori·ty;
what it abominates most is tlhe dissent of the majority.''
For what it's worth. I eel~ ebrate Christmas - hoth the Santa Claus and Jesus Chris.t varieties. If you don't celebrate Christmas, thar's your preroga-tive.
lie arena. With help from the ACLU,, religious·themed floats were banned from holiday pa-rades, while nativity scenes were forbidden from being
Nate
Nichols Right On!If you're offended by the re; ligious aspects of Christmas,, you're free to voice your conn-plaint about the celebration ,of my traditional beliefs. On th,e same token., I'm equally free to ignore your griping and earl')' on \\ith the festivities.
placed anywhere near public property. It didn't take Jong for social conserva-tives to launch a counteroffensive. In 1999, business author Peter Brimelow coined the term "War on Christmas" to desnihe the growing secularist movement to elimi-nate any semblance of religion from the Christmas holiday. Religious groups boy-cotted retail stores that favored "Season's Greetings." and ambitious bumper sticker makers wrung a fortune from the slogan "Keep Christ in Christmas."
In light of our protected liberties. it shouldn't surprise anyone that we've ar-rived at this point. With a free society such
Contrary to leftist belief, you don't lnave a right to not be offended. In fact, the right to offend its protected by the First: Amendment of the Constitution, "rith .
a few notable exceptions. However, thiis doesn't mean you can trample someone else's right to free speech under the grnise of your own freedom of speech.
For the atheists who despise every facet of Christmas, do as Ron Karenga did aintl make up your own holiday as an altern,ative to Christmas. In 1966, Karenga wanteocl to "give blacks an opportunity to celebzrate
themselves and history rather than simt -ply imitate the practice of the dominarnt society." Thus, Kwanzaa was created, aind Karenga has heen the sub}ect of criticism and ridicule ever since.
Fortunately, as \\1th most things in liife,
the pendulum swings both ways.
Last year, Blouse Speaker Dennis Hastert issued a directive to Iename thie "Capitol Holiday Tree'' to its former tit.Be of "Capitol Christmas Tree,'' whit:b wa;; o,rigi-nally dropped in _the late 1990s to accom-modate the seemingly changing times.
This year, retail giants Target and Wal-Mart have returned to using "Merrry Christmas'' on advertisements and in-sltore decor. \\'hiJe boycotters would like to tlhink this is a result of their own efforts, it's nnore a part of the natural cycle of a diverse soci-ety returning to a sensible level of cultlllral balance.
Whether you prefer Santa or Jesus, "Merry Christmas'' seems wholly apprcopri-ate. If you prefer neither, ''Bah, humhilfg!"
•
jlaidHil@mes:aslate.fHIII
Colomni5ts Pat Bahr RanlJa I Paluszcyk Bus1ness Manager Noelle Gersteneclker Heather D1mphey Amanda Friar Brittany Warden Cu.HJ Hcumd Adme.r
Dnel~ar Baker Geist P b l i t ~ Ad Sates Bill Haggerty
IBcia~ tickson Paige Hatten Heather Gilsrud n~Iia Maim Max Rya11 Krystlf McAD1s.ter 't<.'ilill1 Kitohen rz»is IUJitaih
Night out for guys and gir!ls?
Q:
Can guys' night and girls' nig1Jt be in the. ,ume focation? My gir[friend q11,lI Mt'e guys' nights and girls' 11ig11ts at t11e sume bar. We're in separate groups aiul doJ(t see each ot11er f.or most of t1ie nig11t. It does1t 't bother me mul I
do11 't tl1i11k it hot11ers her.
\VJiat <ln you think?
A:
I think that if doing your sep"lirate nights togeth· er is working out for you, then more power to you.However, it .~eems to
But as long as this system works for lmth of you, keep it up. I admiri- a cou-ple who doesn't need separnt!e nights be--cause they need a break from the over-flow of the oppo,<;ite sex's hormones.
•
hd1111,u,ey@mesastate.edu
A:
If neither you nor your __girl is bothered about it, why are you writing? Where's the prnhlem? If you·re simply lookin_g for an opinion, here's mine: Grow a pair.me that the point of guys' night is to talk about spo.rt~ and burp and fart'l'ndles.~ly, while the point of girls' night is to talk about your,datiun-ships and sex life.
Heather Dunphey Love Lifesav~er
I understand there aren't a whole lot of things to do around here, but really, go-ing bar-hoppgo-ing in tandem? What's next? Shopping for tampons together? Ifs guys like you who mak . guys like
It also .~eems that the
point of a group of girls or guys _guing out is for harmless flirting. I think it's healthy to en_ga_ge in meaningless flirting as a simple rea~~urance that you are stilJ desirable.
If you and your _girlfriend go out with your separate parties, keep in mind that she is allowed to flirt, as are you. But don't get nffeoded if you see her accept-ing a drink frnm soml! poor schmuck across the bar. Also keep in mind that vou ~~houldn't hold back for fear of her ~eeing y()u chatting up a girl .or two.
What may begin to happen ( though hopefully not) is that one of you may -start to set rules for you goin_g out
sepa-rately to the same place. For example. you can flirt as lnng as you don't give out your number. Or you am talk to the opposite sex as long as you are at least 18 inches away. \Vatch out for any jeal-ousy this may<.:ause. As suon as this happens it's time to do guys' night and girls' night in different places.
me come acmss as insensitiv~ pricks.
If you want to gn out wi ,'our friends, go for it. Thert>'s no s1iame in going out for a f1>n-brews. Just don't co-ordinate yuur plans ·with your girlfriend. That's -cmharr.a:,.,in_g.
lf the two of you k1ppen to end up at the same watering hnle. then go ahead and follow Heather's advice about lim-itecl grah-assing, or whate~r she's talk-ing about.
The sad truth you've highlighted is that real men are a dying breed. \Vhat, with pink shirts, tight jeans, and "styled'' hair, the birth rate in this country is hound to plummet, jeopardizing the fu-ture of the entire human race.
And to think, alJ of this is a result of some guy giving in tu hb girlfriend's fashion advice. Since when was testos-terone considered fam.: pas? ] am proud to he a man and offer no apologies.
,.
jlnichol@mesastate.edJJ
Uke.
r4: •
11ot,
1testest~Olle defines '"manly~''
And •al
men
send
Heathu ~ -...
1"""
criterion@mesastate.edu
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Criterion, Opinions • DECEMBER 6,' 2006
Editorial: take a closer look
The i\ile,<;a State College Fee Allocations Committee has spent over :!se,'t'n weeb analyz-fog und debat-ing over where our student fees
Editorial Board
lllol)J
·
Cook,
news editor
!Mate
Nlchdls,
opinions editor
. should go.
Josh K'Jeine !Deters,
features editor
They lis-tened to count-ies:, speakers and watched several presen-tations as stu-dents requested money for their _,;tudent grvups. And after all the
Ulysses
Simmons.,
sports editor
Taylor
Stonehouse,
editor
Content for editorials is determined by the
editorial board and written by the editor.
frustration and
anticipation, the wait for the final an.-.;,yer is over.
Our interpretation is that student groups _got the better deal, but the decision was passed way too quickly.
The Associated Student
Government members had the bill summary, data and research before the meeting and had plenty of op-portunities to attend an FAC sts-~ion to further educate them);elves on what they would be voting for.
Aher less than 10 minute:.-. of dis -cussion, they unanimously passed the bi]} and moved on to issues like WorJd AIDS Day. which they spent nearly twice the time discussing whether or not to purchase -l,000
flags.
Our student government needs to put a considerable amount of time and energy when determining where over half a million dollars worth of student fees shouJd go, and they had ample time to do so.
According to ASG President Shannon Robinson, all bills must be submitted to A."",G by the Tuesday of that week by 5 p.m. The bills .are then e-mailed to the senator.s on Tuesday and posted in the ASG of-fice on Wednesday.
Some ASG se.naturs said dur-ing the meetdur-ing that they were un-certain as to whether the
informa-Contact lnfornafon
Website
http://criterion.mesastate.edu
E ... 1
criterion@mesastate.edu
litam lnle '(97Q) 248--1255 New.sl'.llllll (970) 248-1212 Advertising (970) 248,1171 Mailing Address 11..100 Nnrth Ave. Grand Junction, CO 81501-3122
tion provided could be used when making their decision. Whether or
not this quick pass was ha.,ed off of a misunderstanding, the senators need to understand their responsi-bilities of their offices in order to do their job well.
We agree w:ith Robinson for her veto and consideration of student rights, and we believe she made a good executive decision in keep-ing student.s a"); the first priority. Becau.se FAC put so muc.h time and energy jnto this bill, it deserves
mun: deliberation and reflection. After all, they are dealing with half a million dollars.
Furthermore, students can, and should, be paying more attention to these issues.
During each ASG meeting, the public has a time to voice their opinions. Students can take a stand on important matters, like where their student fees are ~oing. Students should be a bigger part of the eheck'>-and-balances equation.
The next A.<;,G meeting will be Thursday at 7 p.m. in Krey/Zei_gel meeting_rm1m. We'll see you there.
© Co,yright.2106 - 2807
tlemllet
ASSOCIATED COLLEGIATE
DECEMBER 6, 2006 • Criterion Opinions
On lihlftJ, justice-and
pmSJlertitf
,Nh.lle we nibbhid on freedom frie.s through the sprin_g of 2003, French President Jaqcues Shirac was warn-ing that the U.S. invasion of Iraq was
. doomed to fail and risked lighting the region aflame with "further
terrorism," or what used to
be called fighting. Turns out he wasn't all cracked-up on crepes after all.
l'ol<l warriors and free traders, four-let-ter won.fs for vears to come.
Events lik~ these challenge our ca-pacity t'ven to perceive them, for they "are certainly not made in the realm of
normal persons and normal lives, yet the.ir outcome re-mains our future, and we must be reconciled to this fact. Passions fade, past ex.-cuse and current rhetoric appear increasingly useless, and the wisdom of hindsight opens up a space of objec-tivity.
France's former em-pire was exhausted in the Middle East and Muslim North Africa, much like U.S. occupation forces are being exhausted in Iraq to-day. But instead of leaving behind jubilant liberation movements and new po-litical strm:tures like their
Joel Dyar
Columnist
As a polity, our only dig-nified and ultimately heal-ing response to these kinds of situations is
to
acknowl-edge and learn from our mis-takes, and then determine rejected westerncounter-parts, the Bush administration (or its successors) ,,ill leave Ira4 a bloody, rav-enous black hole for instability and cri-sis in the region.
What Pentagon spin-doctors today call the ''Iraqi Government" is a mean-ingless coalition implodin_g in on itself, legitimate in no one's eyes, united un-der the _guise of a powerless and un-charismatic president, and lahel the lra4i Army is nothing but contracted Shiite militia, death squad and merl'e-nan- allies. It's no wonder that, while the.administration spends $250 million a day and continues to ask our soldiers to give their lives for the cause of a stra-tegic withdrawal. we can't determine who is fillin_g Bagdad's stree.ts with SO
tortured bodies every morning. In the post-,vithdrawal regional fu-ture, sectarian divisions removed from strong-arm control will turn raven-ous, adversaries will emerge many fold stronger than they once were (thanks to the our deposing of Iran's tvvo big-gest enemies and our backingnf Israel's fluke in Lebanon), and the geopoliti-cal balance of power in the Middle East
so carefully crafted by wiser vVestern
administrations in the post-colonial pe-riod will be overthrown (The
U.S.-fund-ed regimes of Jordan and Saudi Arabia are threatening to invade Iraq to res-cue the Sunni minority, Turkey is eye-ing the Kurdish north, and many Shiite militias in Iraq are operating in-hand \\ith Iranian strategists - all this in the world's second greatest oil producer).
We will begin the second decade of the much-anticipated 20th century de-posed of our moral cloaks and raison
for global leadership, with the limits of
the world's strongest military
e:nbar-rassingly naked for all to see. Hundreds of thousands of regular people on both
sides, lives disrupted and devastated in
the rnurse of events, v.ill be forgotten
and tossed to the dust bin of history.
Pre-emptive invasion and nation
build-ing, disgraced, will go the way of the
what to do tu set them right. That the current strategic cataclysm - and moral catastrophe - is the direct clmsequence of conscious decisions makes for easy placement of blame. Hands should be
washed, and we must be honest, firm and just in how ,ve deal with those re-sponsible.
Nothing about this is easy, but if we look carefully and honestly, we can see
the emergent vestiges of an American
road map out. The media and the peo-ple's representatives in Congress are beholden to help us understand how these complex events came to pass.
We then will have apologies to make, and difficult ones, for we will face hos-tility in the cuurse of global affairs that
will test our motives and wisdom for a
long time to come. Reconciliation v.i.th histon- and the world will mean afford-in_g p~oples the right to do what they want, not what we w·ant them to do, to have space and freedom within which
to understand and solve their own
problems.
The world can be blessed by American participation in· building a
stable, prosperous future and a
glob-al consensus on freedom and human
rights, if we only hold ourselves our nwn e:\-portcd standards. Let us never
a_gain allow those whose pockets are flu.sh with the profits of \Var to deter-mine 1Jur defense, elect leaders who cynically and unapologetically di,ide us, or let them go so far.
Our great quest in the world should · not be a war, but a vision of liberty, justice and prosp't'rity, of dynamic
re-sponse to the challen_ge:s of the modern
world - improving quality of life, repair·
ing broken families and healing social
systems, finding sustainability and eco-lo_gical justice, and coexisting-
befit-ting of the immt>nse diversity of human
effort and innovation it shall require.
•
jdya~mesastate.edu
7
Random acb of kindness
pr
,nml
I saw a photo taken over in Iraqof a little girl held in the hands of a U.S. solder. The hack of her head ,,·as ·bloody from where a bullet grazed her head. The girl's entire family had been executed yet she somehow
survived.
After the photo was taken, the young girl wa.~
transported to an army medic hospital. Over the next several hours, she be-_gan to recover hut had dif-ficulti-es sleeping. The only
person whn could calm
for you or smiles and says hello? 1 usu-ally feel upbeat and respond by holding the door for someone else while offer-ing a warm smile and hello. A hap-py environment ,~ill allow for you not
to dwell about yourself, hut about the welfare of others, which can work wonders in combating depression.
Don't get so wrapped up in buying gifts and spending a lot of money. Most random acts of kindness neYer involve money. Instead, they involve human interal'tion. I find her down was that same
U.S. soldier. He spent hours in a hard chair with the small girl on his chest. This solider did not have to care for this little _girl but he did. His random act
Matt Sqper Guest Columnist
this very challenging, as I am afraid to interact \\-i.th my fel-low classmates. Call it obses-sive compulobses-sive, but shaking hands is pushing the limits.
v.aien I first started dat-of kindness helped the little girl rela'i:
through the night.
By definition, a "random" act is not an act done all the time. You may do something kind for a close friend or a complete stranger. The American sol-ider I mentioned earlier comforted the child \\ithout anv consideration for mon~tary gain o; fame. He did it simply hecause it was the right thing ttJ do.
There is something powerful about trying to create an environment in which you ar~ upbeat and happy. Random acts of kindness create that setting. Think about it, how do you fed
when a stranger holds the door open
ing my current fiancee Beck-y Raney, she informed me that I gave
half-assed hugs. I have worked on thrs
and now find the human touch to be something that makes my day. The key to this is to he genuine because people
can easily tell if you are uncomfortable
or faking it.
This holiday season. I want you all to remember the American soldier .. He cared for a small girl who is too young to remember the event, yet he did it. I
want to encourage everyone to think of random acts of kindness.
•
msoper@mesastate.edu
Letters to the Editor
toe
is
stip;perr
L,!St \\e-duesdaJ; tlie sidell'alk, on campus were a slteet of ice. On my jvm· neJ ,1cros5 the ice, 1 ~lipped mul fell. As I coulinue.d Ill} mry across c<1mpus. I
slipped ~ereral num• times. I ,·,mu? •R'Y<N, "_µu:ilitr mnimenance .1.mrkt?-r u1w
ims tlimwing smut 1 toltl hi1t1 ,,bout 111)· fall band lie told me tlie 'boss' 011/y wai,1.ed tht' e-.itra11ces .,anded. 1 ,le~itietl tl'> par Mr. Fosti'f n d.ut to tell him of n~,,fa11.
Mr. Fo~iers wcreta1J tu"-1 me tliat lie wtt~ m, t11e pl1rme and hud nn
ttppuin.1-numt. l told her J',l wait; 1 only inmted tJ moment of time. Mr. Foster c.·time
out nf
hi~
office S1_1eaki1tg O'II his cell plione aud glanced in ury· direction. J tol.l Mr. Fost.e,· / lia,ljitlle•11 .md asked wliat the pla» was for cleariug the siJem11l~s. He M1id tlutt he ha,'l toltl facilities to take care of it 1)·esterday, ·
Jam appalled we do not luwe a ,umt- expeaiirut plan for winter weather.
Tim of mJ das<rma1es al so fell. Hm.t• nrm1}' other stuclents
fell?
Hoit> many in·jured? TIU:' pum tv de-ice the entrances first muke. nu ~use \t1u:dS1,n~r t..'tJU~id-ering t1iut «'<=' nm~ first tmt'en;e the cmupus tn aprroiid, the entrance.
I e;,.-pect Mr. fhuer to walk the putl~ that n·c> u.._Jkfmm all directim1.~ tv
idem{fy 11roMe1n
areasand to red1ech those
,,re,,s,lail,:
V
nt?, safetr mithi~
t:1m1pus
n.
uot a vriorify fr> Mr. Fosler, tlien m:v futi.re .atteudm~<'f! "' thi">cam-pus u·ill 110t
he
a priorit), Kathy StamherryIndeed, wcry stucknt should exercise q;uttion when trave~ing icy path-ways. And despitt.> thl:' best -efforts of nut mai'ntemmce crew, l\fother Nature doesn't alw~ys coop<."rate. Thanks for writing-be careful out there.
8
Criterion Features • DECEMBER 6, 2006j
In Concert:
I
This Week ...
Who
·
:
Fear Factory with Suffocation,
Hypocrisy and Decapitated
!On
Screen:
I
When:
Dec. 8
at
7 p.m.
Where:
Gothic Theatre, Englewood,
Colo.
''Apocalypto''
(Icon) R
How Much:
$22
Who:
The Nitty Gritty Dirt Band
When:
Dec. 9 at 8 p.m.
Where:
Mesa Theater, Grand
Junc-tion, Colo.
Me] Gibson returns from racial slurs (and hopefully
rehab), to direct this Mayan tale of mysticism and
the end of the world
.
Rudy Youngblood stars as this
civilization's next human sacrifice to appease the
bloodlust of their gods. Supposedly upheld as
blood-ier than the "Pac;sion of the Christ," "Apocalypto"
may be this director's Hollywood savior.
How Mucli:
$'!
0
"The Holiday"
•
(Columbia) PG-13
Who:
The Grotto and Kindy1
When:
Dec. 16 at 8 p.m.
Where:
Mesa Theater, Grand
Junc-tion, Colo. _
How Much:
$10
!On CD:!
Armin Van Buuren
"10 Years" (Ultra)
"It's not really a 'best of' album," Van
Buuren said about his upcoming album:
"it's more like tying up the loose ends." The
newest compilation of Van Buuren's spins
features work never before relea-.ed under his
name. His trance classics were first promo'd
on Sasha and Digweed
'
s "Northern
Expo-sure" album and Van Buuren has been
forg-Cameron Diaz and Kate Winslet star opposite each -other in this
romantic comedy as they trade places, families and countries
·
this Christmas for a bit of a break. The two find each other on
an Internet site that caters to folks looking to swap places for
a vacation. Winslet heads to the states and falls for a charming
Jack Black, and Diaz takes to the U.K., looking for romance
with a classy Jude Law. "Holiday" may be the not-so-cheesy
blockbuster this year, hopefully outdoing the rather dull
"Fam-ily Stone" of 2005.
Sonic Youth
"Destroyed Room: Rarities and B-Sides" (Geffen)
ing his way in the electronic realm ever since . .__ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
___JThe long-awaited missing tracks album
from these pioneers in American
alterna-tive. Sonic Youth have been doing for
almost two decades what Sebadoh and
Mountain Goats have gotten themselves
into more recently. They echo aspects of
My Bloody Valentine but leave the
over-driven guitars at home.
If
you haven't
heard this band yet, get on it, they've only
Enya
"Amarantine" (Reprise)
The first album from the Irish superstar
in nearly five years, "Amarantine" gives
the sense that time holds no bearing on
Enya's sound. The CD doesn't
necessar-ily sway from the rock solid consistency
Enya keeps with, but it does seem to keep
up with the times by exhibiting the
grow-ing maturity she shows as a songwriter.
A wholly beautiful album, "Amarantine"
definitely holds its own as a landmark in
Enya's career.
been making music as long as you've been alive.
Tom Waits
"Orphans: Brawlers, Bawlers
&
Bastards" (Anti)
This man is the reincarnation of Jack
Ker-ouac -
if he had taken inhuman amounts
of ether and washed the huff down with 12
years worth of Jack Daniel's. He claims
his "piano's been drinkin' again," but then
again, he also claims that all 30 of the
tracks of this album are new ones. Although
I can make no qualm against the former,
the latter is a Jie. "Orphans" has three discs
worth of lost gems and a few re-recorded
oldies and cover songs. It's a Tom Waits collection worthy of his
exten-sive career.
DECEMBER 6, 2006 • Criterion Features
-9
Feat
U
res
Josh Kltl.ne Deters,
etlitoJ
jkleined@mesastate.edu
My
path lea-ds elsewhere
,
Josh Kle"me Deters Features
Ed'itor
The end of my pilgrimage at Mesa State is nigh and I can't wait. As this all-kJO-lengthy fall semester draws to a painfully slow close, I feel like I've become much mon: aware of the fact that my levels of apathy and procras-tination are at an all-time high. This awareness now leads to questions: Am l not sleeping enough? Have my eat-ing habits overstepped their already stretched boundaries? Is the amount of time spent D&D-ing taking away from the integrity of my work ethic?
ln truth, I have decided not to dignify any of these questions with an affirmation. Instead, I have ch.1lked it up to the realization that I really have no idea what I mmt to do with my life.
That's right folks, I'm admitting that I have very little direction and that I'm com-pletely unsure in every decision pertaining to the rest of my life. And 1 think that it's normal. I worry for those people so set in the goals that parents or other authorita-tive figures subversively placed in their minds while they were still extremely mallea-ble. And I'm quite sure that it will be these people who fall hardest into the alluring pit of mid-life crisis, snatching up a vintage Porsche and wearing a different color of Hawai~an-print shirt for every day of the week. I do not want to be one of these people. I don't want to redm:: the yuppie fantasies of our middle-class baby booming parents. (Not to say that my parents ever took part in that wave, but I hm·e seen it played to time an<l time again.)
Separating myself from the masses of people pretending that their- scholastic stresses ,,ill truly elicit a better, more prepared person for the real world is the best thing I can <lo at this point in my life. ·
All that the five semesters I have spent at Mesa State College have done is con-firm and solidify that l haven't figurl'd out quite what l want. I suppose that is what
it's all about though. isn't it - figuring out what you want? I know what 1 can do and I know what I <.:an't, but to deduce what I want to do for the rest of mv lifo from those limitations is a trick-y feat indeed. Do l get a degree in something 1 c·an do' just for the sake of the cause? I suppose the real question is: am I so am:ious to jump headfirst into real life that I am wi.lling to sacrifice certainty for security?
l\ot that I have anything against those college students who have the abilitt:y and drive to graduate in four years and pick up a "real" job straight after school - it's jealousy if anything. but I understand that I, and many others, simply could aot fol
-low their lead. College students have a certain degree of ambition, if we didn"t, we wouldn't be here to begin \\ith. The real angle to sharpen is focusing that amlbitio~ into an area that we have a hunch wouldn't cause us to off ourselves after 20 years of practicing it.
Don't get ml' wrong. The broad generalizations that I have made are easily· ex-ploitable and I \\ill be the first to take a stab as I see people who plan to retirlP at the job in which th,ey started, all perfectly happy. \\<'hat I aim to do is satisfy the minds
of others like myself. I say take it slow, figure yourself out and experience the rest of what life has to offl'r: maybe that's what you need. Maybe that's what I need.
Academia is a strange land \\ith even stranger inh!Jbitants. Wandering the halls of any institution, you find people with brimming energy as they leave their cllasses,
feeling one iota more in,telligent than they were previously. Diligent students :study
away in the corners of the local eateries and cafes and 40-year-olds are out-com-menting anyone in any given class because they now give a crap. 1\lluddled in with these people are kids in their 20s who are going through the motions because that's what they should be doing. They change their majors once per semester and dabble in a little of everything they are remotely intereJsted in, hoping that something will catch them unaware as their new career of choice. We are not so different a lbreed.
Some of the most direction-oriented people I've ever met are a few years ollder than me ~\ith the same class standing. They're going for roun<l two because tlhey
couldn't get it together the first time around. One of the most driven people Ji know tripped acid for five years before he knew what he wanted and I have more re·spect
for his commitment than that of many of my peers. I'm not saying go out amdl slam psychedelic drugs until you get the picture, I'm just making an observation trn which I can relate. I know J worry about what I'm supposed to be doing. I should haive it figured out, I should be almost graduated. Rut the more I evaluate where I am in life, the more I see that it's OK not to know what I want. The rnt race can hawe me when I'm good and ready.
So J guess these are my final words at the Crite and at Mesa State for that mat-ter. I've had some opportunities I wouldn't have gotten other places and I've meen forced to reconcile my generally ambiguous attitude to the world in which l lii.ve. I was allowed to preach music at people for the last three years and I got paid tto do so. I might not know what I want, but if nothing else, I know what I won't be doing in 30 years.
Long-time Bookcliff favorite to call it quits
Paige
Hatten
Features Reporter
She always has a smile for any student that has a hunger.
Mary
Moos has b~en the Bookcliff Cafe sweetheart for I 5 years and is now ready to mon: on. Her last day w1til retirement will be December 12.''J\lary is a great example of what customer service is all about," said l\fathew DokoupiL ~neral mahager of Sodexho. "Nobody is really going to be able to fill her shoes."
Bookcliff regular Fran Morales said, "There is going to be a void without Mary;
she takes care of everybody."
Throughout the years, Moos has held several positions with Sodexho including managing Sodexho's catering service.
For the winter months, J\!loos will be spending her time with her husband in Arizona.
'Tm off to Arizona to enjoy the warm weather." Moos said. After that, she'lll be going home to Ireland to spend time with family. :
To fill her free time, Moos plans to stay busy doing volunteer work with AIDS pa-tients and the adult illiteracy program at the Mesa County Public: Library.
Doreen Crawford, three year colleague of !\Ioos, says that her "favorite anul least favorite part of working with Mary has been that she is so popular that all the stu-dents want to be in her line. l have to beg people to come to me ... she is om:.· of the most popular people on campus."
Student and Bookcliff fanatic Andrew Atkinson said, "I love how she calls ievery-one her love ... she doesn't have a mean hone in her bodv."
'Without a doubt, people have been my most favorite part of this job," Mo,os said.
•
1Q
Criterion Features • DECEMBER 6,, '2006Family ties:
blood is
always thicker than water
{and twice as
mesSJ)
Max
Ryan
0Yer tbe Top
We've finally reached the end of it. Fall semester is in the books, and everyone is really looking forward to a month off. It's nice to know that soon our work \\ill be reaching fruition and you won't have to be required to be here. All good things must come to an end, even though doing assignments and taking tests were never, really good things, you can be thankful that those are coming to an end as well. Soon, you will all be frolick -ing \\1th your family naked on the windswept, moon-lit plain, or whatever goat sacrificing, blood-drinking events you like to call family pasttimes.
Soon, your cheek-pinching grandma will have you in her finn grip, strong from making millions of snow-men and Christmas tree cookies. Your grandpa will tint
you with that stench of too much bourbon and bonded paper. Your mother will tell you what exactly is "Tong with you and your father will be drinking with your grandpa, hoping to avoid uneccessary emotional and physical pain directed at him from both his mother
cause you realize that years down the r~ad, thes.e are the people you'll desperately try to get away frorn.
l, too have cried those tears. Fat, soggy blohs; of wet-m·ss mixed with joy and desperation, stemming from an incident that is almost too horrihle to tell, but still and spouse, Home is whei,-e the heart is, they say. They. nI spill.
forget to mention it's also the place where pain lives, where humiliation first got its start and where embar-rassment was born.
Yes, that's right. Your family, the people you went to collt·gc to get away from, come thrusting bard
back into your life. ,vi.th spiked eggnog flowing like the mighty Mississippi, you
·n
bear the real opin-ion on your experiment-ing sister, thegood-for-nothing brother who still lives in the basement, try-ing unsuccessfully to sell drugs. and the neighbor who decided to steal the
"It'll
will be like sixth
grade
again
as
you
tear
down the stairs
hoping
to
find Christmas
presents,
only
to
get
a 1
passed out
father, who
uneccessarily
crushed
all the
gifts
when his
200-pJus pound
frame fell:''
family glory after \\inning -the prestigious
commu-nity downhill sled race. There are no boundaries with family, no walls or faces that people put up to deal with othtjr people. Sometimes, it's the people that know you
the best who can hit really
Earlier in my de-pressing life, I wras at-tending ChristIT11as \\1th my sister and th1e rest -of the family and the 25th came a-calling. !More excited than Wmitney
Houston on Fre,e Crack Day, I rushed de>wn the stairs to begin ttt:'aring gifts a new one, when I came across an ,el.a bo-rately wrapped s;quare
· from my sister tlhat par-ticularly caught my at-tention. Layers 1of \\Tap-ping, duct tape, bubble wrap, and newsjpapers flew off the squ.are, as my fingers fu1 rious-ly worked at wh1 atev-er was inside. Alftatev-er all
Mesa
Count
Office Koors
8AM1o4PM
Family Planning
hard. It'll will be like sixthgrade again as you tear down the stairs hoping
that hooplah, I foun<.1 a rock with the words, ''ruice job opening a rock. dumbass," printed in magic mairker on.
a piece of granite. My sorrow and disbelief was p-eeted by manic laughter as my sister got the biggest kick out of getting my hopes up and then sqimshing thC'm in one fell swoop. Ah. don't you love fa.milr?
It's not all bad though. You get to eat ham, t1urkey, or whatever side of animal the females in your family like
to cook and you get presents, however off-base they might be. You get to spend time with the peopl1e you fake love, feigning interest in what they like to do, aml actirig interested when they bring up the same thing they've been bringing up fo( the past however nnany years they've been alive. Family will always he tt:hose fa-miliar faces in the dark, the place you can alwmys go when it's good, bad or really ugly. They've got
rnoth-Monday ·
Friday
Extended
Evening Hours
SAM
to
7:30PM
Wednesday
248-6906
510 29 1 2 Rood
,~ ..,.\.
~-
Counseling
Birth Control
Pregnancy Tests
ency Contraception
'<::i'-:' ~ ,.. ' ~·'...
"" 'l\ l LS
.
-
\
s
~,
A ·rtJANUARY
TERM
JUMP START YOUR IEMEITlR
Priority re,gtslnfion
~u Oeoember
I
Ot.h
·
i
week ge11eraJ e.ducaticwi
c.wrs
e1: and '41Ufe
www~mesastate.edu/Ianuarv
January
,
2.nd
- 19th
2007
• Squeeze
ill a.,.
extra course!
to find Christmas pres-ents, only to get a passed out father, who unecces-sarily crushed all the gifts when his 200-plus pound frame fell. Revelry and joy soon turn into fear and re
-sentment as Christmas turns into daytime televi-sion, when you figure out the only gift you have left is silk underwear your sis
-ter got you as a practical joke. That's right, cry, little Timmy, cry tears of joy be
-ing but love for you. Just like that one time yow were playing with matches in the trash can and burmed the house down. It was love that kept you out of the hos-pital as well as keeping your father's grip from .around your neck.
-•
DECEMBER 6, 2006 • Criterion Comics
'llhe
Srm·~rs
byAlex Tuthill
Mesa State
by Nate Nichols1''inal Exam (150
pts);-
-1
;
Why is burden oj"proofa uscfui
I
pattern nf pscudorcasoning?
I
''
'
.
..
,,
.I
1! :1,
:
Comics
Nate Nichols, editor
jlnichol@mesastate.edu
Who the hell runs around corners holding a knif!; Bke this?
~~Wf~<RIWOW,R
aurfl" ,·~ 11..wm, wA,jr&'e> to C>O 1'~Ar·
PIO,,. ~ lil"G ®E'f - 5 1 ' ~ ow-s ro 51111K r..-ll'Olll-rl ,___
_____
_
I I Ir
IMaking stabbing motions?!
>
~Does anyone ever read this?
l
et me know:
c
r
it
erion@mesastate.ed
u
i, JI I
,t • '
,.t . ..
J • t .• \The very thing that made Rudolph so good at his job, w.as the reason it was always destrned to end in tragedy.
suldolku
© Puzztes by PappocomI
